Well the "ups" lasted for a while, this week has been all about the "downs". One of those weeks where I almost wanted to feel sorry for myself. Thankfully I have some kick ass friends who don't let me get away with that shit. One of them brought over 2 bottles of wine and a case of beer! We almost drank the two bottles. A lot of fun. I miss me time.
My husband started to come around my street this week. About 30 houses down. I could see his car from my kitchen. So it was very nerve wracking. I am pissed about it still. What you wanna emotionally damage your kids? You won't file for custody but will visit a neighbor? What a fucktard!
On Thursday morning I had a discussion with my son. It was an adult conversation for an 8 year old. Just saying listen Daddy is here in the neighborhood, please don't approach him. He is just visiting a friend. We have to wait for permission to see Daddy etc. Then my son floors me and says "Daddy is a drug addict."
Um............ wow seriously. Then he precedes to tell me why he thinks is father is a drug addict.
So I am just floored by how frank my son was with me. Such a little man.
That day he decides to take a pocket knife with him to school to protect himself. Right before the end of school he decides to put it in his pocket and drops it. He claims he was preparing himself just in case Daddy was waiting for him. This kills me.
I do not know what is going to happen. Friday I sent him to school knowing he got caught, the school had NOT contacted me yet. Then I had to go pick him up, he is suspended until a school board hearing is held. (no longer than 10 business days)
Called in reinforcements, my Mom is flying in tomorrow! YAY. I am still freaking out but trucking alone.
My Mom has manged to some how take the reigns, she is kicking me out of the house next weekend. I have no idea WHAT to do but YAY. I need a break. I have been flying solo with 3 kids since October. Even if I don't make plans for next weekend, I am going to at least get one night in a hotel for sleep! I need it!
So yeah, fuck me, this week sucked BUT you know what...........I am a kick ass Mom who can handle just about anything. I work full time and manage to keep the house in order with my 3 little tornadoes. So I don't have time to feel sorry for myself, I have to keep on trucking. I have to just keep on going for my kids on the days I don't feel like getting out of bed.
Next week will be excellent right? I hope! I don't think they will expel my son but they are aware of the situation of my husband.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
He has been served
Holy Crap. I hired someone to serve him the divorce papers. I literally dropped off the papers and the gentlemen said I will go serve him now. I had some errands to run and was really nervous especially since I knew any minute I could get a nasty email. How would he react? Is he just as done as I am or is he going to fight me tooth and nail?
Anyway my friend, pretty damn close friend. I say this because he is also my co-worker. We go way back. He is my work spouse and I can say ANYTHING to him. Anyway he convinces me to stop over since his wife had a township meeting tonight. He knew I had to go drop off the papers to be delivered. He just didn't want me going straight home, we were thinking of doing booger king with the kiddos.
My email dings on the phone as I am pulling into Reds driveway. Thankfully it said Andrew *** ******has been served as of 5:15pm. I opened the door to my car and puked. It was like the nerves have killed my stomach.
I have heard nothing and hope that continues to be the case. I hope he signs off and leaves me alone. I doubt he will but my parents are willing to pony up.
Anyway my friend, pretty damn close friend. I say this because he is also my co-worker. We go way back. He is my work spouse and I can say ANYTHING to him. Anyway he convinces me to stop over since his wife had a township meeting tonight. He knew I had to go drop off the papers to be delivered. He just didn't want me going straight home, we were thinking of doing booger king with the kiddos.
My email dings on the phone as I am pulling into Reds driveway. Thankfully it said Andrew *** ******has been served as of 5:15pm. I opened the door to my car and puked. It was like the nerves have killed my stomach.
I have heard nothing and hope that continues to be the case. I hope he signs off and leaves me alone. I doubt he will but my parents are willing to pony up.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Filed
I'm scared of what is behind me and scared of what is to come. 524.50 dollars later and I have officially filed for divorce. I have to have him served now and wait. Wait to see if he will just sign off. I hate that the ball is in his court.
My father in law said he is moving out and renting an apartment with my husband. Good it is about time.
My children are so freaking amazing but I can't shield them from the pain. They yearn to see Daddy. They latch on to every male that I know. It breaks my heart.
My oldest asked me if he was adopted. He said that one of the other kids said to him that maybe you were adopted, that is why your Daddy doesn't want you anymore. Gaaaaaaah.
So I keep on going on.
My Dad was right, he said divorce is painful. Painful for everyone around you.
I feel like sulking but know I should be happy. Maybe the happiness will come another day.
My father in law said he is moving out and renting an apartment with my husband. Good it is about time.
My children are so freaking amazing but I can't shield them from the pain. They yearn to see Daddy. They latch on to every male that I know. It breaks my heart.
My oldest asked me if he was adopted. He said that one of the other kids said to him that maybe you were adopted, that is why your Daddy doesn't want you anymore. Gaaaaaaah.
So I keep on going on.
My Dad was right, he said divorce is painful. Painful for everyone around you.
I feel like sulking but know I should be happy. Maybe the happiness will come another day.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Naughty Texting from Last Night:)
A friend and I were chatting on the phone, his cell phone died and we switched to texting. This is a rough copy of our antics. Took everything in me to not hop in the car and show up on his doorstep. Of course as with everything we were texting over each other, I'm sure you can figure it out though;) This chicka needs some sex.......bad. Especially after I read our texting again. Too fun! :) Muaaaaaaah. Yes I squirm, he knows that. Fun times:)
Him:I told you.(his cell phone died mid sentence) Now dive deep & pinch your nipples.
Him:I told you.(his cell phone died mid sentence) Now dive deep & pinch your nipples.
ME: Rolling, pinching.....still wish I had your cock...
ME: Go cum too;) then sweet dream about wet hot pussy;)
Him: I would probably be crawling into bed to grasp & fuck you from behind.
ME: Complete abandon from me....hehe considering the trust level....I'd probably try anything...
Him: My hands on your breasts & your pussy, pushing my hand deeper, spreading your lips w/ my fingers rolling your clit with my knuckles...
ME: Gaaaaaaaaaaah
Him: Mmmmm....
ME: I want so bad.....
ME: Feeling you on me is intoxicating......plus I like your body, you're hot, a very intense, demanding....
ME: I want to give you an edging blow job....nice sloppy wet one
Him: Now my fingers dive deeper, sliding in your warmth, slipping inside. They want to lock in, to find that spot, but push on, burying in that slick hole until you moan,
ME: Teases from me until you can't take it anymore
ME: Fuck you are going to make me need a towel under me.
ME: Wish we could fuck right now. Even if we met at a rest stop on the turnpike half way point, fuck you, I would do you in the car....lol
Him: I won't let you obey anything but your own ecstasy. as you cum & feel embarrassed about your wetness, I grasp your hips & position them under me, letting my massive cock grind into your clit, watching you squirm.
ME: <insert> of a video. Yeah I'm that wet........if not wetter..
ME: Fuck me please.
Him: I take the tip of my cock & rub it up and down your clit, gliding past your hungry hole & pressing firmly on your asshole, while you fidget to get my cock near your pussy...
ME: Fuuuuuuuck Eat me, bite me, make me lose control.
ME: You are going to tease me like that? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Him: I take my hands & thrust your hips up to meet my lips. I lick, to taste, & then drive my tongue deep into your pussy.
ME: C.........................
Him: I am intoxicated by your scent, driven to madness, & I drag my tongue over your pussy pushing insistently, licking your clit wwith snake-like flicking pressing.....
ME: Fuck........I want to taste myself on your lips...........feel you stretching me as you work inside me.
Him: A probing finger tells me your pussy yearns for more, thrusting, attempting to drive it deeper. I press down, constant pressure as my tongue flicks, pulling your hips higher.
ME: OMG delay your trip.......cum with me, come to me. Yeah I'd be squirming good..........fingers in your hair gasping for breath.........scratching your scalp with my fingernails.......ugh
Him: I reach under you & grab your ass, which makes you squirm, inviting me more firmness, pinning you while I bring my lips to your clit.
ME: You torture me!!!!!!
Him: Dragging myself up my cock finds your pussy & needs no help as you suck me in, pressing down with all your weight to drive me deep, to press against you until you yield & I can retreat.
ME: God I can't even begin to imagine how good you would feel in me right now.
Him: But there's no retreat- I thrust deeper into you, & you crumpled, moaning with my cock hitting your g-spot. Your moans make me crazy & I thrust again.......& again.
Him: I'd whimper, moan and thrash, I do love feeling you cum in me. You feel so good and I feel you get harder if that is even possible right before you cum.
Him: I pick up your legs, pressing the knees towards your shoulders. I can't help fucking you deeper, harder.
ME: I bite my lip not to scream at times though I know I'm out of my mind with please no idea if I'm silent or scream.
ME: You my friend are a pussy tease......lol fuck fuck fuck..........I want you here.............RIGHT NOT! Soaked, hot, ready and waiting, come get it.
Him: As you moan loader, grasping me closer, tearing at me with flailing hands desperate to control my thrusts, I reposition, grabbing your ass, pulling you to me, pushing deeper, faster.
Me: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Him: I pull out, kidding you deeply as your face mixes with frustration & desire. I deftly scoop you up & turn you over onto your knees & press against you. My cock finds its target quickly, hungry for more. Your pussy is insistent, wet, & your hot. As I thrust again, your moans grow loader & your ass presses back against me harder.
ME: Dripping wet, waiting, trying not to squirm....Im' sure if you were behind me, I'd be biting the pillow grasping at the sheets trying to stay still and enjoy the feel of you sliding in and out of me......knowing if I angle my head right I can watch you thrusting into me.
Him: I give you all of my cock in one long constant thrusts, & you melt to the bed, whimpering, trying to keep your ass still as you squirm.
ME: Something about watching you sink into my pussy is hot. I'm sure you have a better view for watching your cock moving in and out of me.
Him: You moan & I realize I'm in trouble. I pull out & flop down on the bed in front of you, holding my cock straight up.
ME: Is this where I get to taste myself on your cock? Clean up some of the wetness before I climb on top? FUCK
Him: You crawl to me, sitting on top, watching as you grasp my cock & hold it, pressing your pussy onto it, juices flowing.
Him: You have control finally & realize this with a wry smile. You thrust slowly, trying to tease, realizing you almost push yourself too far.
ME: Certainly not hard to do with your massive cock.
Him: You push off of me, sliding down to grasp my firm cock, your wetness over it, you are looking at it with intent.
ME: Almost on the pleasure pain scale when you are fully seated in me, almost too deep....
Him: You lick flick and lightly kiss teasing me as my cock gets harder.
ME: Gaaaaaaaaaah about that can I please do that now to you.
Him: You take my tip in your mouth, rolling the head firmly with your tongue. grasping the shaft w/ your hands. As you pump my shaft you take more & more into your mouth, as my hips rock & lift w/ every suck.
ME: Test the waters guide my mouth up and down your shaft gently thrusting.....YES Lift your hips pushing deeper into my mouth.
Him: As my cock pulsates it pleases you, you smile & lick the precum as it wells up.
ME: great minds think alike I do like the taste of your precum.
Him: I grab your hair & press your mouth down onto my base, anxious to stop myself from cumming.
ME: I feel you quiver with your need to cum. HARD WET PUSSY NEEDS COCK NOW.
Him: I grasp your arms & pull you to me on top again, spearing your wet hot pussy w/ my rock hard cock.
ME: my saliva would have been dripping down to your balls.
Him: I grasp your ass & pump furiously. You sit up, pressing all of my cock deep inside. I lean forward suckling your nipples, pulling and teasing.
ME: Do you even know how hard it is when I feel you so deep to move? I just want to savor the feeling, so full.......feels like you shouldn't fit.
Him: We look down to watch as my cock presses into you again & again. You shudder & squirm, I surprise you by putting you on your back quickly.
ME: Fuck me into a coma.
Him: As you cum again, I thrust deeply, feeling my cum pull at me, forcing its way. I thrust over & over, delaying the inevitable. We slam our bodies together knowing what's to come. I slide my cock in & out, grabbing your ass, probing my fingers into your ass.
ME: I wanna feel you right now!!! My legs would be jello, I'd sag and feel overwhelmed with pleasure, feeling the after shocks.
Him: I can't take it anymore, & as you push onto me harder & harder, I cum deep into you, locking your body in place as I grind into ur hips.
ME: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Him: I roll over in exhaustion, & you roll over on top of me, kidding my body, working your way back to my cock where you lick and suck it into submission. Kissing.
ME: Your cock submits to me............Mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Saturday, February 2, 2013
want part one
As we embrace I feel my arousal, I feel myself getting wet, my nipples harden. My clit throbs to the beat of my heart.
You hug me closer, I inhale your scent feeling your erection against me through our clothing. I am lost in sensation. No words are spoken, we both know where this is going.
You lean back from me hips still sealed rubbing yourself knowing that you make my legs weak. You have complete control. Your finger lifts my chin and you kiss me deeply, sucking my lower lip into your mouth and biting just hard enough to sting. I melt in your arms and groan. Our hips move in unison, striving to get closer. Need over takes me.
I catch my breath and say I want you in me. You laugh and say wait.
You run your hands down my back, lifting my shirt on the upstroke. I am helpless in your arms.
Before I know it I am backed up to the bed, and naked. You are fully clothed. I beg you to unclothe. You finally comply. I can't help but appreciate your body. Seeing how hard and ready, makes my mouth water. I want to feel you in my mouth, lick the precum I see glistening on the tip. You know how bad I want you. I am soaked. I reach for you and you push me back onto the bed. I try reaching again and you deny me. Instead you say finger yourself. I tease you running my hands down to my stomach but back up to cup my breasts and pinch my nipples. This causes me to arch my hips. You can see I'm dripping with my arousal. Once again I rub my hands down my sides and cup my core, slowly sliding a finger along my slit, circling my clit spreading my wetness. I make eye contact and move my fingers from my clit down and push two fingers deep inside. You moan with appreciation. I curl my fingers striving to rub my gspot.
You hug me closer, I inhale your scent feeling your erection against me through our clothing. I am lost in sensation. No words are spoken, we both know where this is going.
You lean back from me hips still sealed rubbing yourself knowing that you make my legs weak. You have complete control. Your finger lifts my chin and you kiss me deeply, sucking my lower lip into your mouth and biting just hard enough to sting. I melt in your arms and groan. Our hips move in unison, striving to get closer. Need over takes me.
I catch my breath and say I want you in me. You laugh and say wait.
You run your hands down my back, lifting my shirt on the upstroke. I am helpless in your arms.
Before I know it I am backed up to the bed, and naked. You are fully clothed. I beg you to unclothe. You finally comply. I can't help but appreciate your body. Seeing how hard and ready, makes my mouth water. I want to feel you in my mouth, lick the precum I see glistening on the tip. You know how bad I want you. I am soaked. I reach for you and you push me back onto the bed. I try reaching again and you deny me. Instead you say finger yourself. I tease you running my hands down to my stomach but back up to cup my breasts and pinch my nipples. This causes me to arch my hips. You can see I'm dripping with my arousal. Once again I rub my hands down my sides and cup my core, slowly sliding a finger along my slit, circling my clit spreading my wetness. I make eye contact and move my fingers from my clit down and push two fingers deep inside. You moan with appreciation. I curl my fingers striving to rub my gspot.
Anger so much of it
I hate that my entire life feels like it is a constant struggle. I mean I completely lost my shit last night. I saw red.
Yesterday I went and picked up my oldest from school, then we went to my neighbors. Got the divorce paperwork done. I was elated, happy and just waiting for legal to approve and send back to me. They normally get it back in 24 hours. Here is the tricky part. He is leaving his motel on Tuesday. So I need to print and file the paperwork at the court house. Have him served while he still has an address. Supposedly he does not have a place to go.
I knew this was coming but my FIL went and took my husband out for lunch. So he is all bent out of shape. Saying my husband has truly hit rock bottom. That he is facing living out of his car. Okay and by the way Tom, that is MY CAR as of right now.
Tom thinks I should talk to my husband. Tom thinks this. Tom thinks that. I went off. I really said some mean nasty things. He said some shit too. Like threatening to move out. I said FUCKING GO then. I don't need you trying to tell me that he has changed. I don't give a rats ass. He starts to raise his voice, I remember saying "YOU THINK YOU CAN RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME".
Why is it as soon as I raise my voice and start screaming like a raving lunatic someone takes me seriously. Why? Why do I have to drop the f-bomb and clench my fists in anger. Gaaaaaah. I normally stew quietly in my anger but last night I could have went for blood. Calm cool collected fuck no. I am ready for a battle.
I talked to him briefly this morning. I said I am too angry to talk to you still, I feel like you betrayed me. I guess he is taking my hb over to his Aunt's house to see if he can go live there tomorrow. Well Tom maybe you can live with her too. I am so fed up.
OMG, I need some serious calming vibes. I am furious and I have a feeling he is going to wind up getting kicked the fuck out soon. He set a date and let me know when he is leaving. Don't threaten me asshole.
Yesterday I went and picked up my oldest from school, then we went to my neighbors. Got the divorce paperwork done. I was elated, happy and just waiting for legal to approve and send back to me. They normally get it back in 24 hours. Here is the tricky part. He is leaving his motel on Tuesday. So I need to print and file the paperwork at the court house. Have him served while he still has an address. Supposedly he does not have a place to go.
I knew this was coming but my FIL went and took my husband out for lunch. So he is all bent out of shape. Saying my husband has truly hit rock bottom. That he is facing living out of his car. Okay and by the way Tom, that is MY CAR as of right now.
Tom thinks I should talk to my husband. Tom thinks this. Tom thinks that. I went off. I really said some mean nasty things. He said some shit too. Like threatening to move out. I said FUCKING GO then. I don't need you trying to tell me that he has changed. I don't give a rats ass. He starts to raise his voice, I remember saying "YOU THINK YOU CAN RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME".
Why is it as soon as I raise my voice and start screaming like a raving lunatic someone takes me seriously. Why? Why do I have to drop the f-bomb and clench my fists in anger. Gaaaaaah. I normally stew quietly in my anger but last night I could have went for blood. Calm cool collected fuck no. I am ready for a battle.
I talked to him briefly this morning. I said I am too angry to talk to you still, I feel like you betrayed me. I guess he is taking my hb over to his Aunt's house to see if he can go live there tomorrow. Well Tom maybe you can live with her too. I am so fed up.
OMG, I need some serious calming vibes. I am furious and I have a feeling he is going to wind up getting kicked the fuck out soon. He set a date and let me know when he is leaving. Don't threaten me asshole.
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